One of the greatest things to learn from music, either listening or playing, is the depth of integrity and thought which goes into that final sound.
The process is endlessly, unimaginably hard.
To speak musical truth, the musician must develop prodigious muscle memory, endurance, emotional and physical sensitivity and the intellectual capacity to understand the music.
But we do not do this work alone. Our evolution is tempered and guided by our teachers, our colleagues and our audience.
Recent online comments about transgender people got me thinking about a few things, but perhaps the biggest thing was how music helps the development of truth and integrity in ourselves.
I am a transgender man. That means I was given the sex marker of female when I was born. And since I was born in the late sixties, when knowledge of transgender issues was barely in its infancy, I lived my life as it was laid out for me.
As a female.
I went to a girls’ grammar school. I grew up being told to be careful at night and to never be alone with a man. I grew up with the fears and delights of the female world but, as I learnt about myself, I realised I was transgender. For me, this took time.
Just as the skills I forged as a musician matured with introspection, time and profound thought, so did the realisation of my gender identity; both came into focus with the same process.
Becoming a professional musician is not a flash in the pan, a fad, or a whimsy. It is not a flight of fancy, or a result of a classified mental illness.
And the same for gender transition. We transgender people do not make this transition on a whim. We work and work with ourselves. And just as musicians have teachers to help and guide and check them, transgender people go through a highly rigorous assessment to make sure it is the right path.
Just as musicians strive to find truth in music, transgender people have struggled for our own truth within ourselves. We have sat with our truth and accepted it, even when it can seem impossible to render. We have all, without exception, agonised over our future. But, in the end, there is only one choice for survival — self-acceptance.
Now, fortunately, I live in a country with some of the best transgender health care in the world; I have come through some the most terrifying years of my life with a clear sense of self and with robust mental and physical health — a place I wasn’t sure I would ever reach. Much of that is due to my health care, but it also due to my partner’s and family’s love, and to the acceptance of the community. There may not be too many national radio transgender broadcasters in the world, and it is thanks to your acceptance that I have my job.
So, when there are negative comments about transgender people online, and someone you know might want to join in, please remember this:
Your kindness has saved my life, and it will save many more.
Ed Ayres presents Weekend Breakfast on ABC Classic (Saturday and Sunday 6am–9am).